It’s Monday night. I’m sitting at my dining table with a stomach full of ramen noodles, trying to accept the fact that I leave for Beijing in one day. For two months, I won’t be able to see my parents, my friends, the New York City skyline, or the soft curves of my beloved comforter. I am freaking out. But I experience this every time I leave for college, so why am I feeling such mixed emotions?
Perhaps it is the thought of jet-lag. Last summer, it took me two weeks to recover from it. My father wanted me to take me on a little tour of China before my summers got busy, but I had no idea that a 12-hour time difference could be so painful. I would wake up every two hours at night, drown myself in coffee during the day, and repeat this draining routine over and over. But somewhere in between the blurry mornings and breezy nights, my father and I explored. Together, we saw everything from the tallest building in Shanghai to the crumbled remains of my childhood home. It was my first time seeing China in 13 years. It was a lot—almost too much—to process.
And now, almost exactly one year later, I’m packing away for another chance at reclaiming home. I’m not saying that I hope to be an expert in all-things-Chinese or have the geography ingrained in the back of my mind by the end of this. But after an intensive 10-weeks with my mother tongue, I hope to at least feel like some piece of Beijing, no matter how small, belongs to me.
I’m nervous to reintroduce myself to the country I was born in. I’m nervous to only speak in Chinese. I’m nervous about the heat. I’m nervous about a lot of things. But I’m also so freaking excited. So many new people to meet. So many new characters to learn. SO much food to try. So much to see and do.
But first, I have to accept the fact that I’ve overpacked and that it is too severe to fix.
- Amy
Have fun Amy! Hope you have a meaningful and fun time <3